Life

Life is Good

2005-10-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

I'm doing well in my classes, though not entirely perfect. My girl and I just passed our 5-month mark together. I get along great with the family, and we're having a reunion this weekend. All my friends are doing good, and I'm very busy with all the little things I have to do in my world. LIFE. IS. GOOD. I can't really ask for much more along the lines of happiness. Though there are problems here and there along the way, for the most part, my life has become somewhat routine, entertained, and toned down since I left North Carolina. All the insanity and instability that I once had has diminished, and the biggest problem I have right now is balancing my time with friends, school, my girl, and my family, which isn't really all that hard of an issue to resolve. What else is there to say?

2005-10-05T10:53:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'm moving along in my classes. I've had a couple exams, some I excelled in, others I failed in, but in all, I applied myself 100%, and earned every bit of every grade. I'm doing good with my current girlfriend. Progress is still continueing there, which is great, because at points I felt like there was a bit of a stall. Nonetheless, things in my life are moving along smoothly. However, schoolwork does consume a lot of my spare time, and last week I remember being so overwhelmed, i was dreaming of names, dates, and other classwork information. School's not easy, but neither is life, so I'm handling best as possible. My friends aren't numerous, so for the most part, i spend most of my free time and social time with either my old friend from high school, or my girlfriend. Though i wish i had a bigger circle of friends, keeping it small for now is not a bad thing. I find that the bigger the circle, the more distracted you can be, and i'm very easily distracted.

How?

2005-09-21T21:46:00.000-07:00

How can you tell someone you love them, when love is a word that can barely describe your feelings for them? How can you share with someone your deepest feelings, when you yourself can barely grasp the enormity of the emotions? How can someone make you feel vulnerable, with just a look from their eyes? How can a person bring you to ecstacy, with just a slight touch of their hand? How can a person melt your troubles away, with just a simple hug? How is it that a smile from her lips can warm my heart to depths unimaginable? How is it that the mere thought of her can bring joy and a smile to my lips? How come my first thoughts every morning are with her, and my last thoughts at night are of her? How come a person I've known for so short a period, feel like I've been with for all my lifetime? How can it only be days, or hours, since I've seen her, yet it feel like an eternity has passed since I've admired her beauty before me? How come no matter how often I see her, I feel like it's the very first time? How come I love her so??

There are many feelings in one's life that consume them daily, but love is one that can be there at all times, and no matter how hard it is to describe with words, a heart will always clearly understand...

Wednesday, September 13, 2005 (quote)

2005-09-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

Well I'm moving into my third week of classes now, and it's getting a bit more difficult. Though the classes themselves don't consume much of my time, the studying and reading for the classes does. It can be expected though, because that's part of the college life. Individual dedication towards one's progress and education.

I'd like to share a quote that one of my teacher's said in class. he said:

"The outcome of the struggle rests on the development of your character"

Why does this quote have meaning to me? Well, not only do I enjoy proverbs and wise words, but this one is about life. Everyone has flaws in their lives. Everyone has problems, personal matters they need to keep in check, or even simple personality traits that one knows they need to work on. What this quote is basically saying is that the results of your life, how your life turns out, rests solely on how you not only learn about yourself, but improve on your personal traits, or problems, and work them out. You have noone to blame for how you end up living your life but yourself.

Personal development is vital in this world. If you never work on what is wrong with you or your life, then you will never get far.

Week 1 of college

2005-09-05T20:22:00.000-07:00

Well I made it through my first week of college, and I'm already moving into my second. I haven't really made time for anything other than my schoolwork and my girlfriend this past week, which is why I'm posting this later than expected. Anyways, school is not as hard as I originally had thought it would be. Though my schedule is full with 5 classes, I do not feel lost, or out of place when I'm sitting in the classroom. In fact, at points I feel as though I'm one of the few that's actually on point with the work and what the teacher is talking about. It's as if the lot of people in the classroom are entirely zoned out, completely satisfied with wasting their hours in class pondering nothing. I look around, and I find see them everywhere BUT inside the classroom. Then again, most of the people in the classrooms are there straight out of high school. They haven't been through the rigours of life. They probably don't know the depth of what a difficult day is. All they know is that they are simply there because society tells them that's what's next.
Though I am going into college four years later than most, I find that it was a time that prepared me for this next challenge. I do not feel burned out from all the scholastics, like some seem to be in the classrooms. I am not going to college simply because it's the next step after high school. I am going to college because I want to make something of myself, and I need to gain skills which will help me survive in the real world better. College was a choice, and a desire. I will survive in this world, and will make something of myself.

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO COLLEGE!!!

2005-08-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

Well now that I've been accepted for the fall season, I have the wonderful task of getting ready for college, which starts a week from Monday. YAY!!!!

The Definition of Love

2005-08-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

How is it that I can spend more than two hours everynight talking to someone, and still not run out of things to say? It happens everynight with my girl and I. We start talking, and time passes by us going unnoticed. This past weekend she stayed on the phone with me till dawn broke. I find myself spending a lot of my time thinking about her, and wondering what she's up to. Though I'll still be working on my daily tasks and focused, I have her on my thoughts in the back of my mind. She's never too far out of my mind. It's bad, considering I've only really known her for three months, but what is time? Do we measure the amount of love you have for someone by the amount of time you've spent with them? Do you measure love by the amount of devotion you have to a person? How do you really know when you love someone, and when it's simply strong feelings and caring for a certain someone? What's the difference between an infatuation, and obsession, and love? The problem with emotions is that there are no boundaries, no grand scale, no real way of defining what you have for a person. You simply know yourself, learn in time what it means for you to love someone, and you recognize that feeling when it happens to you. Love at first sight can happen.

Everyone is different in the world, and no two people will ever have identical definitions to one of life's most longed for treasures. I fall for my women quickly, and hard, but it is no less of a love. I love my girlfriend, and she means the world to me. From the way she smiles, to the way she jokes with me, to the way she stumbles with her words when it comes to her own emotions. I love every trait, every action, every characteristic that makes her who she is. Most of all, I love how she reciprocates my feelings, though love is yet a word in her vocabulary. One thing time does do, is allow a great depth of emotions to happen. Someday, she will be ready to say those words I long to hear. Until that day, I'll wait patiently with my love for her, and her deep affections for me. Till then, and for a great time beyond, I will cherish her.

Simple Skills Can Be a Luxury

2005-08-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

I'm still with "M" here, and things are moving along steadily. She'll be back in college in two weeks, and we're both looking forward to that. No more limitations from there on how long we can really see each other. I just hope that I don't become too big of a distraction. The last thing I want is for her grades to slip because of me, or her friends.

I'm still waiting on my letter from the school. I think it's too late to make it for the fall season, so I'm expecting to start in the Spring. This is what happens when you don't plan things out and make time far ahead in advance. Oh well.... chalk it up to life's lessons.

Not much else is really going on with me right now. I participated in a photo shoot today, which was fun, but exhausting. I was chest-high in a cold river and a waterfall for a couple hours, ensuring that the ladies weren't in any danger of drowning or falling on rocks. It wasn't part of the plan, but someone needed to be out there, and the photographer sure as hell couldn't do that job. I think there was only one other person there that knew how to swim.

How is it that people don't learn how to swim growing up? You would think that would be one of the first things you learn as you start progressing through your elementary years, when you go to a summer camp. I've noticed that mainly it's black people that don't know how to swim. I'm not saying it as a racist person, but it's true. I remember when I was in boot camp, whoever didn't make the Swim Qualification stayed back for a couple more hours of practice and education. All of them were black.

In the world we live in today, it's sometimes easy to forget that not all people are raised with the same standards, and are educated in all the similar things as you are. Knowing a second language, swimming, using a computer, or even knowing how to tie a tie seem simple tasks to me, but I guess not everyone has the same opportunities. I guess skills we take for granted, aren't always found in everyone.

100 Facts About Me

2005-08-05T23:07:00.000-07:00

I came across a blog (http://valerene.blogspot.com/) that had a posting titled "100 facts about me," and it inspired me to do the same. Let's see if I can make it...

1. My Full name (will not be displayed here in public)

2. I'm 100% Guatemalan (Central American, aka "Latino,") but my step-father is Puerto Rican, and as far as I'm concerned, he's my dad.

3. I only have one sister for siblings.

4. We're both slightly spoiled, but I don't think it's a bad thing.

5. I love going to the movies, and going to the clubs on Saturdays.

6. I think there's nothing wrong with looking a little hoochie when you go to a club. As long as you have your self-respect, and don't get naked in the club, I don't see anything wrong with dressing to get a little attention.

7. I'm very adventurous.

8. If i had 3 grand right now, I'd SOO be in Greece with my boy, learning the language and lovin' the atmosphere.

9. I know Spanish, and I've been to four latin countries so far. Spain, Puerto Rico, (Cancun) Mexico, and Guatemala.

10. I haven't been to Guatemala since I was 10 years old though, so i'm looking forward to making time and going there next summer.

11. I have a lot of aunts, uncles, and cousins that I HAVEN'T met who are there.

12. My dad's family all lives in Pennsylvania, and I have about 7 aunts and uncles total just from his side of the family alone. I have 7 more total from my mom! that's 14 aunts and uncles! imagine all the cousins I have!

13. I don't plan on making my family grow anytime soon.

14. I do have someone that I'm with and I love, but it's not that serious yet.

15. If I can help it, I won't be settling down with anyone for years to come.

16. AND if I do settle down, the only thing that will change will probably be the fact that I'll have a ring on my finger. Besides that, I hope she can keep up with my crazy ass!

17. She probably will though, because marriage is only going to happen once for me.

18. I don't give ex-girlfriends second chances. If it didn't work the first time, why would it work the second time?

19. I plan on retiring at age 30. :-P I know that's outrageous, but a guy's gotta have goals.

20. All I really want out of life is to watch my kids grow up, be a good husband, and live my life to the fullest. I don't see myself working a 9 to 5 job for the rest of my life. That's not life. That's captivity. I plan on working my ass off now, getting well-off, and taking it easy so I can be there for my kids, and vacation as much as possible.

21. I don't want to be rich. All I want is enough money to live on and hopefully leave for my kids to live on, and leave this world with the knowledge that I made a difference in some lives.

22. I miss the Marine Corps. I miss all the fun and insanity that I used to have with my "brothers" there, and all the activity and drama that used to happen.

23. But all good things have to come to an end. Sometimes it's not about holding on, but knowing when it's time to let go while it's still good, and not waiting for the bad to make you wanna move on.

24. I'm a bit lonely here at home. Though I have a decent circle of friends, it's not the same family I had down south, so you could say I'm suffering from a bit of withdrawl.

25. "Loneliness does not come from not having someone around, but the from inability to speak to someone about what's important to one's self."

26. I love quotes. They can sometimes be the best way to find tranquility and peace within yourself in difficult and stressful times.

27. I'm only 22

28. And though I'm only 22, anyone with the desire to understand and know me will learn that I am far much more mature than my peers, and that I have a depth no one has yet fully seen.

29. I tend to be an advisor to my friends.

30. I love giving advice, because it takes confidentiality and real understanding of a person to be able to give good advice.

31. I also love it because it's a way of making a difference in someone's life.

32. I have strong morals.

33. Even though I don't always tend to follow them. :>

34. I think I'm well-balanced between good and bad. I don't tend to stray too far on either side of the spectrum.

35. I keep my life simple. Though my mind isn't always spoken in the simplest terms, drama isn't something that I have a problem with. Issues in my life are solved quickly.

36. I'm also very impatient. I hate waiting.

37. I'm very spontaneous on a daily basis, but I have plans out as far as years.

38. I'm partially conscious about my wieght and my appearance. I'm not a freak about it, but I know that if I weighed another 30 lbs heavier, I would probably have better luck with women.

39. Oh well. I guess they'll have to accept me for who I am, because it hasn't changed in 10 years, and it won't change in another 10.

40. High cholesterol runs in my family, so most likely i'll have that problem too, which saddens me.

41. I love meat, chicken, and fatty foods.

42. I don't hate salads, but it will never be a choice taken by me. At least not as long as I have a say on my diet.

43. I love my tan. I think i'm the perfect darkness, and the fact that I'm latino.

44. The Latin race can pretty much date any race and will never be frowned upon. I think it's the perfect middle between all types of backgrounds.

45. I was raised with very little to my family's name. Anything that my family and I now own have been worked hard for, and therefore I feel I'll never be a rich snob.

46. If my kids ever start acting like spoiled rich brats, I'll leave them at my grandmother's house in Guatemala. Trust me, it's no resort.

47. My favorite colors are yellow, followed by blue.

48. I love my Mustang. I've had it for two years now, and I've gone on all kinds of road trips with it.

49. If women say that "it doesn't matter if you have a nice car or not," they're full of cr*p. It does.

50. I still have a foul mouth from when I was in the Marine Corps. It comes out the worst when I'm getting wild up with my crew.

51. I like hanging out with the guys, but I love time with women more. They're always more amusing than a group of guys.

52. I'm hoping that I'll be going to college soon.

53. I still don't know what I'm going to get my bachelor's in, but I know that I want to become a stock broker.

54. I think I'll end up owning a bunch of different businesses when I get older, because I have a desire to go into so many different fields, I don't know where to begin.

55. I'm very social, but I don't need to be the center of attention in a group. Personally I'll let someone else be in the spotlight. You can't see what's happening when the light's on you.

56. I'm a hopeless romantic, and when I'm dating someone, I'll usually end up knowing them far better than they know themselves.

57. It can be bad, because I've used that against them before.

58. Because of that, though, I can usually win the fights in a relationship.

59. I don't always have to win, but I won't lose when I know i'm in the right. I know I'm wrong at times, and I can recognize that.

60. I don't support stupidity. I understand that people make mistakes, but I expect people to learn from them. I don't keep stupid people around. examples: Women that date the same guy on and off for years, not knowing why they break up and don't move on. Girls that always get crushed by the same type of guy, yet still go for the same type. Guys that have had a couple jailing convictions in their lives for the same sh*t.

61. I am picky when it comes to my friends at times. I care about people who care about themselves enough to learn from life, and not repeat mistakes constantly.

62. I also tend to surround myself with a variety of different, yet good-hearted people. From the loud and boisterous, to the adventurous, to the reserved and intellectual. It's good to have a variety.

63. I listen to Rock, Hip-Hop, R&B, LOVE Reggae, and anything else except country. I wasn't born on a farm, raised near a farm, or wanna know anything about a farm. At least not now.

64. I love cities. Streetlights, sidewalks, subways and commotion keep me happy.

65. But I always enjoy camping out in the woods, and getting away from it all once in awhile. There's something about laying around on a hilltop, looking up at the sky and seeing it littered with stars as far as the eye can see. Sometimes it's good to get out of the city and get back to basics.

66. The last time I went camping of my own choice was before I enlisted, back in 2000. The military's sent me out to the woods often, but never were they pleasant camping trips.

67. Though the military has changed the way I see things at times, I don't feel that it's changed me for the worse. It does change a lot of people, but the only change that can happen is the change that you allow.

68. I think the real world is harder than the military. Though there are experiences that you can have in the Marine Corps that you'll never have out in the real world, you're told what to do, have a place at all times, and food. Not all that can be guaranteed to be there for you on the outside.

69. My favorite food is Lasagna

70. Last time I cooked rice, I made enough to feed about a family of 10... there were only 4 eating that night.

71. Sometimes I can go overboard on doing things, but that's just how I am.

72. I love taking pictures

73. I believe that America as a whole has forgotten about 9/11, and it's only been four years.

74. I don't like to stay on the phone very long with anyone. Unless it's someone I can't see on a regular basis, over the phone I'll state my business, catch up for a few minutes, and hang up. I prefer to talk to someone in person and not over the phone.

75. But if I have a girlfriend, she is usually the exception to that rule. Your significant other always deserves a bit more than your usual care. O:-)

76. I love Yankee Candles. My favorite scent out of their collection is "Midsummer's Night."

77. I currently have over 16 colognes on my desk. "'Very Sexy' 2 for Men" by Victoria's Secret and "Chrome" from the Azzaro collection are my top two. Sweet colognes are my preference, as opposed to musky colognes.

78. I'm the type where if I hug a chick and get a chance to smell their hair, I do. I'll also notice their perfume when a woman walks by me.

79. Long, beautiful hair appeals to me, but I absolutely love eyes. They can be windows to a woman's soul, if you know how to look.

80. I love to joke around with my friends, and won't care to make myself look like a fool to get a laugh.

81. My friends are very dear to me, and I don't mind going out of my way for a friend who I know will appreciate the effort.

82. I'm very independent when it comes to my life. I rarely ask for advice from friends, and I can't recall an issue or a conflict in my life that I haven't been able to resolve in a matter of a day or two on my own.

83. My family's important to me. I have a good bond with my parents, and my sister.

84. I have the smallest room in the house as my own, but it's got a lock, and that's all that matters to me since all I've been used to anyways is bunkbeds and roomates.

85. I've jumped from 60 feet up into a pool of water.

86. I've been in sandstorms that are so bad, you can't see but 5 feet in front of you.

87. Waking up to nothing but desolate wasteland for miles can be depressing. I don't know how is it that people can live in Kuwait.

88. I used to play the piano. I would still love to take it back up again someday..

89. I like to look good all the time. I believe you never know who you're going to meet, so it's not often that I'll be dressed down.

90. I take great care of my clothes and my shoes. I still have some white sneakers that look fresh as the day I bought them, and I've had them for months now.

91. I'm not crazy about my looks, but I believe you should always take care of your appearance.

92. I have some pink clothes. It's not a gay color, and can really make a guy stand out. I'm comfortable with myself enough to wear pink.

93. I enjoy a good run, but it's not often that I do go out and exercise.

94. I'm very random. I don't believe I should ever be too predictable. Being predictable is boring.

95. I've only been so drunk I can't remember the whole night twice. Once was my 21st birthday, and the other was a mistake.

96. I don't need to be drunk to party, but getting a buzz on occasion isn't a bad thing either.

97. I don't really associate with potheads. It was never my thing, so I tend to stray away from those type of people, but not always. You can't help something that's everywhere.

98. I don't think I've ever been mad for longer than a day. Stress-free's the way to be.

99. This list took forever to finish.

100. I'm glad it's finally done!!!!

August 3rd, 2005 (Life Update)

2005-08-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I got back with my most recent Ex, but it's not like I didn't know it was coming. I've been talking to "M" for forthe past 3 weeks almost nonstop everynight for hours on end. Seeing her this past Sunday was the breaking point, and I just couldn't resist her no longer.

I am waiting on my letter from the college still. I hope it comes in this week, but I have a feeling it won't be here till next Wednesday.

One of my best friends is in Pennsylvania, and just saw my other best friend Johnny Mack off to Greece for a month. He won't be back till early September, so now I don't have a NYC party-buddy. Oh well...he'll be back soon enough.

I went to two more photo shoots this past weekend, and missed the Sunday's shoot for some time with someone else. These photo shoots are becoming more common around here.

The only thing planned right now is that I'll be going to North Carolina in two weeks to pick up the last bit of my stuff from storage. At least when I go, I'll be able to see all my brothers, as well as see some of my other ladies for a few. No one special, just dear friends of mine.

Time For A Change

2005-07-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

As I was dropping off my friend at her house, I realized that I was the only one of the evening that was going home to an empty bed. She asked what was wrong, but I didn't have the heart to say anything. She was going into her home to take care of her two children, and to rest with her boyfriend. I looked at her and wondered when will I have someone to lay with when the party's over, and the evening's done. No... I just simply said "nothing's wrong," and smiled at her. Though I know my eyes told a different truth, I doubt she had enough light to see them and read them. Loneliness can sink in at the most random times. I also haven't felt like my usual self in awhile now. I feel limited and restrained by something. I need to find a focus again, and stop wasting my days around the house. Maybe then I can resolve my issues with these feelings of being alone and detached. My passion for life isn't what it used to be. I need to find that again....

Bills and College

2005-07-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

At this point, all I'm trying to do with my life is to pay my bills on time, and work on going to college. My first bill hits the beginning of the month, followed by the rest hitting around the second week of the month. Why is it that all the bills always seem to fall on the first half of the month? Why can't some arrive near the end of the month, so that it can be balanced? I always save money from the second half to help with the future bills, but there still seems to be less money to budget with during the first fifteen days of every cycle. Gotta love it.
College. Why does college have to be so hard to enroll in? I'm sure I'll make it through this process, but I wish it was an easier process than what I feel it is. Oh well... I guess it's a system placed for a reason.

Stringing Her Along - Sun. July 17th, 2005

2005-07-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

I talked to my latest Ex for two hours this evening. I was resting in my room, and she woke me up with her phone call. It was unexpected, because her and I talked for some hours yesterday as well. A lot of people think that I'm taking advantage of her, and that I'm leading her on, but is it true? Both her and I agree that we still care about each other, and that it was just simply the wrong time to have a relationship. However, both of us are looking forward to September, when she leaves the restraints of her home, and heads back to college. I broke up with her because it just wasn't working as a relationship, but we can't seem to just talk as simply friends right now. I think it's because neither of us have moved on, and she thinks it's because we never had a friendship to begin with. We went from "hi, I'm Vinnie," to making out the next day, so I guess in the end, both of us are right.

But am I stringing her along? I do make it hard on her to move on from me. I know she still cares about me, and I do constantly bring up fond memories between us. I know I don't help the matter by being affectionate over the phone, but is it wrong of me when the feelings are genuine?

There's so much to factor in this. For starters, I'm probably her longest-lasting boyfriend, even though the "official" time together was only for about 3 weeks. I can also be considered her first "real" boyfriend, because the other two guys before me never respected or worked on the relationship with her. I was her first french kiss, so I know she hasn't gone any farther than what I've shared with her. She's lived a sheltered life, only keeping her nose in the books, and living a somewhat safe life. No adventures in her past. Most of her days are planned in advanced. To her, the idea of "winging" a date is far-fetched, and completely against her standards. Even her best friend thought that she had lost her mind at the idea of not having a planned date.
I, on the other hand, have been through are variety of relationships, from the short to the long, from the intellectual to the sexual. I am no Cassanova, but I know myself, I know what I want in a relationship, and I have a firm understanding of what it takes to keep a relationship going. Where I am a man looking for a woman, she is but a young girl still looking for herself.
Not that she doesn't have the right traits though. She is smart, gives a lot, takes very little, and knows how to carry herself. Her and I get started on the phone, and we can become two of the biggest chatterboxes in the world. We can both talk as well as we can listen. When we're together, she isn't afraid to be affectionate, which I enjoy, but is also a great companion in public. Though I can tell she doesn't have the flare for adventure that I do, she is willing to be by my side as I take that plunge into the daring. I would be the guide throughout most of the adventures, and probably through most of the relationship as well. However, the integrity that she has cannot be found among any other women her age. It is as though God set her before me and said "Here, take this young woman and show her what is expected of her from a man. Mold her into the woman every man dreams of having. Teach her what it means to keep a man happy. Before savages ruin her purity, and corrupt her mind, show her what can be expected of a man she desires, and make her a lady that can stand up to them with morals, integrity, and decency"
Alright, so maybe i'm getting carried away, but none-the-less, she's still fresh enough to where I can show her what's right and what's wrong in a relationship. And i still do care about her. Even though we can't have a relationship right because of conflicting schedules, I think when she moves back to college it might work for the better.

Relationships and Timing

2005-07-16T22:24:00.000-07:00

You know, it's funny how relationships work. I was talking to someone earlier about how it seems that timing plays a key role in how a relationship starts, or ends. Two people can be perfect for each other, but if the timing is off, there might never be a relationship. On the other hand, two total opposites who would under normal circumstances have nothing to do with each other, can be placed in a situation where they have perfect timing, and a relationship blooms. I guess my latest emotional drama would be the first of the two examples. A great kinship is established between this girl and I, yet the timing isn't right for us. I am forced to wait for the right time before I can have what I want with her. Before WE can have what we both want. Everything seems to be there between us. Everything, but the timing. She's at home, living under the parents' rules, and in order for me to have a relationship the way I like to have it, there can't be any limitations. I can't date someone who has a curfew. How am I to take her dancing with me, when she lives so far away, and I have to leave the clubs before most ever get into the club, just so that she can make it home on time? How am I to take her on a night out to New York City, if I have to make my way to her home around the same time that my buddies are heading into the city?? Everything is there, but the ability to talk with her late into the nights like I enjoy, and the freedom to enjoy her evenings with me to the fullest. I can handle not seeing her, but we're almost always on different schedules, so the moments we have to chat can be limited at times. No relationship is perfect, and she would be worth the trouble in the end, but if I'm not entirely happy with the way things are going, should I even try? No... I think some patience is in order for this situation. Though it'll be over a month before she heads back to college, and to the full freedom I want her to have, I have hopes to start anew with her then. It IS still early in the summer, however, and a lot can happen in a short amount of time. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens in September...

"Scent of a Woman" - Fri. July 15th, 2005

2005-07-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

Well I just finished watching the movie called "Scent of a Woman," but the name is very misleading. The story is about a college boy who is put in charge of a blind old man for thanksgiving. The catch is that this former Army Colonel has plans of his own, and whisks Charlie (the boy) off to New York City, where the Colonel then proceeds on his tour as his last wish, so to speak. It is a great movie, because it deals a lot with morals.
You see... Charlie and his friend are in a private school, and witnessed a vandalism in the beginning of the movie. The dean then offers Charlie a bribe for the names of the vandals, or will suffer punishment for withholding the names. Throughout the entire tour of New York City, the Colonel explains to Charlie about life, enlightening the boy about his situation and what his friend will do, as well as frustrating Charlie with the Colonel's actions.
"Integrity" seems to be the trait in question. To squeel, or not to squeel? Should Charlie tell the truth? Take the easy way, and have a better future layed out before him? OR should Charlie keep his silence, and have his integrity remain intact? He will most likely lose his scholarship to the private school, and possibly be expelled. Decisions, Decisions....
Similar occurences happen to all of us in our life, where our values are put to the test, and our choices are not always easy ones. When you are offered a way to get ahead at the expense of your morals, what do you do? Do you place your beliefs aside, and make an exception for this "just one time," or do you hold your ground, and make your path a harder one? Can you look yourself in the mirror? What is it that you do?

Life is full of these moments, where your path splits and can be traveled many ways, but you have to ask yourself one thing.

When you get to your destination, will you recognize yourself? Will who you wanted to be, be the same person as who you are at the end of the road?

July 6th, 2005

2005-07-05T21:51:00.000-07:00

Let's see.... how about I start with a little about my beliefs, and how I see the world.

What's is life?

Life is your one time on earth. In my opinion, you enjoy every moment that you have here, because you don't know how much time you really have to enjoy it. Everyone is always worried about what their future will be. Ever thought that you might not live two weeks from now?? If that were to happen, then how would your life be different from now, and would you feel you have lived your life? I feel I have lived my life, regardless of how much more I do have to live. I worry about little, and enjoy very much. Though I do plan for my future, not everything I do is for my future. It's a balance of happiness today, and happiness for tomorrow.

People have to find a medium, and stop worrying about all the wrong things. They have to learn to appreciate what they have, and not fret over what they needn't. One of the biggest being a person's social status. People worry too much about what others think of them, and so little about what they think of themselves. "Know yourself and seek self-improvement."

Honor

A simple word, no? Two simple definitions of it are "A person of superior standing," or "a keen sense of ethical conduct."
But how often do we find that people in the world are doing things less than "honorable?" On a daily basis, people lie, cheat, and steal. They commit such sins as adultery, and lie for their own selfish reasons. By nature, it seems that a human is greedy. A glutton, capable of almost anything for their own pleasures and happiness. We used to be a world where knights in shining armor were common, and "honor" was all they lived for. They would do the daring, live by their codes, and die with honor. They would conduct themselves with the upmost etiquette, and present themselves as role models for all to see. Over time, though, what was once considered "honorable" became known as "savage." Our technology advanced; leaps and bounds were made in the understanding of the world around us. But in the midst of this transgression, the ideals of "honor" faded. We became a smarter society, but I feel we have become more savage. Anything can be accomplished for the right price, but at the cost of our humanity.
So what is the world to do now? How is the everyone going to redeem themselves? How can we become a society that is once again humane?
We reflect.
We learn once again what is right, and what is wrong. We take a step back and view our own morals, and truly think about what it means to be civil. Valiant. Chivalrous. Honorable.

Note To All

2005-07-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

If you wish to read, be aware that all postings are with no prejudice towards anyone. They are simply the thoughts of my mind, expressed on a web page to be viewed by any and all. Feelings may be hurt, but understand that these are my opinions, and this is my life in plain text.